Something in my head

What is

my motivation to live? 

Well, like teens this days, I’m just trying to get some attentions, and appreciations. With social media, yes. Because its easier, like a piece of cake. 

But I realise something, so unnecessary. 

That when I got less likes on posts and stuff, or when I saw my friends’ feeds are more ‘appreciated’ than mine, I felt so jealous. Like theres this envyness filling up my empty chest. And then I also realised that the real life I am living in is not appreciating me too. It did not give me the things I want, the love I wanted, and the respect I needed. 

So I think, seeking appreciation ‘this way’ is also useless. As useless as how hard I tried and ended up failing, over and over and over. 

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